We’re Changing!

We have a new format that we believe you will enjoy. You can now find us at the Soulcookie Cafe. The new address is www.soulcookiecafe.com.

We’ll see you there!

 

Soulcookie: Brain Health

Have you ever had a “brain cramp,” you know … something on the tip of your tongue you wanted to say, but your mind just seemed to shut down and refused to let it out?  Have you had to introduce someone you know and then all of a sudden their name was just gone from your mind? I suspect that most of us know this situation all too well.  

Perhaps you’ve had this experience – you’re having lunch with a friend and a subject comes up, something you know … but right then you can’t remember all the details. However, as you’re driving home what happens? Yes, then it shows up in your mind. Why? That’s always the question. The information is in there, why can’t I get at it at will?

An explanation that seems consistent with what I’ve learned about the brain is that when we’re young we have all kinds of shortcuts in our brains to information, but … there’s always a “but,” as we get older we lose many of these shortcut connections. The result is that sometimes our minds have to follow a route with lots of detours to finally retrieve the information.

With that as a prelude, I want to share an experience I had with one of my sons not too long ago. This boy has “attention deficit hyperactivity disorder” (ADHD or ADD), a condition that can be diagnosed and help provided for the symptoms, but for which there is no cure. His challenge is the attention deficit end of the malady. He really can’t concentrate for very long … so, prioritizing, completing, and successfully fulfilling the normal requirements of daily life can be quite challenging. The only real help has come from a prescription amphetamine that does significantly improve his concentration ability. This has been a blessing, but as with all drugs there be downsides such as the potential of unwanted side effects and the cost.

Approximately a year ago he called me and revealed that he had gone off his medication. Normally, this would have been a cause of great concern. However, he had initiated an interesting replacement that I accidentally had some involvement in. In my prior post I mentioned my passion for nutritional supplements and natural remedies. Well, a while back I found an online/catalog store whose products have a great deal of advanced science behind them and, fortunately for us, are as inexpensive as purchasing competing products from the warehouse stores.

I have a membership and helped my son get one. He had seen some literature on a product that listed concentration as one of its benefits. So, being young and not worried about a little risk taking, he stopped the amphetamine and began taking this supplement. By the time he called me several days had passed. His comment was, “Dad, I can concentrate every bit as well on the supplement as I could on the medication.”

Wow! This really came as a surprise. The supporting literature is targeted at gray-haired folks who might be losing a bit of their cognitive ability, such as memory or concentration. I decided to do some research on the supplement’s components and found that each one was the focus of significant scientific study and my son’s response was consistent with the findings. Another surprising connection was that these natural remedies, which are effective for ADHD, are the same ones that can provide substantial help for age-related cognitive ability issues – all the way from forgetfulness to Alzheimer’s Disease.  

Here is the list of remedy ingredients in the supplement:

Antioxidants – this includes vitamins A, C, and E, as well as other significant molecules.

Phosphatidylserine – a vital component of all cell membranes in the body and found in high concentration in the brain.

Omega-3 Fatty Acids – the best source for these “essential fats” is cold water fish and their oils.

Ginkgo Biloba – the largest selling herb in this country.

Well, when I finished my study review I decided there was real science at play, so I started taking the supplement. By the way, I do not have ADHD, but I do have a few miles on me.  The net effect of a number of months of use has come in two ways: (1) greater mental energy and (2) my recall is significantly better. This information is valuable for any age – so important that I put together a seminar and newsletter on brain health that I have presented at a number of senior activity centers and for two caregiver classes through the board of health of one of our local counties. A number of people have tried the supplement, experiencing significant results – validating the scientific study information and making the whole project very fulfilling for me.

If you’d like some additional information on my findings, including the newsletter and other information I’ve collected, just send an email to michaelpurles@msn.com  or leave a reply with this post, providing your email address, and I’ll forward what I’ve found. It just might be valuable for you too, a real Soulcookie.

Soulcookie: Good Health

Count Rugen, the six-fingered man in the movie, “The Princess Bride,” says to Prince Humperdinck after being told of all the nefarious activities the Prince has to accomplish (I hope these weren’t Soulcookies of a fiendish sort) “If you haven’t got your health, you haven’t got anything.”

This old adage was delightfully funny in the movie, but nevertheless has much truth at its core. What life activity, whether work, fun, or service, doesn’t require some level of good health to be fully enjoyed?  I believe good health easily qualifies as a Soulcookie.

At this time when the H1N1 virus (swine flu) seems to be running rampant and our government is vigorously debating what to do about the healthcare/medical industry, a discussion seems appropriate on preventive healthcare. You don’t need to worry about me dragging politics and other highly-charged issues into this post. What I am suggesting is that if we take a proactive attitude toward our health – perhaps resisting the familiar tug of old habits that beguile us into doing little or nothing until something goes wrong, we might be able to take more personal control, enjoying the satisfaction of being in charge, and have better health at the same time.

This isn’t another kind of health insurance, but may very well be health assurance, a brighter focus on the things that we can control. Perhaps you share some of my feelings. I would like to reduce the need of formalized medical care and maintain/regain the vigor and vitality associated with my youth.  

I have some background in the preventive healthcare industry, having been the general manager of a nutritional supplement company several years ago. Let me summarize my experiences in this way – I discovered that there are regimens and natural remedies (supplements) that people can employ that have the potential to improve their health and quality of life, sometimes significantly. Most of the benefits I’ve witnessed came about as preventives rather than after the fact cures, although there are remedies that are valuable in this regard.

Prevention often requires a different mindset from the “when it happens, then I’ll fix it” attitude. Perhaps the number of prescription medicines that are available has individuals thinking that they don’t need to do anything of a preventive nature. I’ve certainly witnessed this in my circle of family and acquaintances. Medical science has proved that drugs can’t do everything and even if they could, I wouldn’t want them to because of side effects and the body’s propensity to build up tolerances. Consider for a moment the ability of bacteria and viruses to mutate, to change their makeup, causing drugs to lose effectiveness. Frequent stories are broadcast by the media about superbugs. One of the major concerns about the H1N1 virus has been whether or not it has mutated prior to the beginning of the vaccination program. There is no question that our immune systems remain the best fortress of defense, but need ongoing support.  

There are serious medical situations being discovered as people age that actually began 20-30 years before, only to surface when “critical mass” was achieved or immune systems are finally overrun. Consider this example: in older ages one of the major health fears is contracting Alzheimer’s Disease. It is an ailment worthy of our concern. The number of commercials being aired on television is a barometer of public awareness. There is no cure for the disease. Pharmaceutical companies have only been able to develop drugs that may slow down its progress. Health statistics reveal the following connections of this malady to other physical conditions:

• People who are obese in middle age (40’s and 50’s) have twice the risk factor for getting Alzheimer’s Disease in later years.
• If this same person has high blood pressure and cholesterol the risk factor becomes six times.

No one knows for certain why these connections exist, but you have to admit that they are sobering statistics. The information suggests that if people would be more attentive, even aggressive in their younger years in adopting and utilizing preventive healthcare philosophies and practices, this terrible disease and other maladies might be minimized or avoided.

Well, perhaps you can tell somewhat why I am passionate about preventive healthcare. For now, try to get 30 minutes a day of exercise that increases your heart rate. Eat responsibly, meaning low fat, daily consuming not more than 2000 calories for men and around 1600 for women. Eat the five servings per day of fruits and vegetables. I will be providing information on a number of topics that I think will be helpful, mixing these health related posts with other Soulcookie topics. I hope the information will be enjoyable as well as valuable for you.

Soulcookie: “Celebrate what’s right with the world.” Dewitt Jones (continued)

As I sit in my office with the first snowstorm of the season modifying the look and feel of the outside world, I can’t help but think of Dewitt Jones’s encouragement to “celebrate what’s right with the world.” To some the storm is a nuisance that has to be patiently trudged through; to others it is a joy for what it portends on the ski slopes; and to others it is a cursing that must be endured. No matter where a person’s perceptions are centered, there is something in this storm that is “right with the world” and should be celebrated. For me, this morning, it is a surreal landscape – I’ve having some emotional disorientation with the abrupt change from autumn to winter, from vibrant colors to vast expanses of white. The tree outside my office window seems to be making small piece offerings to all who are willing to look, leaf size servings of nature’s frosted eye-dessert. Eventually, I discover that I’m captivated with a beauty that could not have been conjured by man. This is right with the world, even if I have to drive in it.

This little prelude has put me in the mood to share with you one of the most difficult and yet glorious experiences of my life, the one I alluded to in the prior posting. Our first child, a daughter by the name of Tracy, was apparently not too excited to get here, arriving about three weeks after her due date. Being late is not fashionable when there are complications.

On the second day of her life she had surgery to sew together her pulmonary artery and main aorta in order to fabricate a hole between them. This creative, yet temporary plumbing was to take the place of the right side of her heart, which had not developed. This was the only way that oxygenated blood could get into her system, even if at suboptimal levels. Children with her condition had lived into their teens; that was all the doctors could tell us about longevity. Why did it happen? No one knew – a one in million type happening.

We couldn’t ponder on that thought for very long as the quality of her life was another consideration that had to be dealt with in real time and there was much of real time required. Other congenital problems were discovered such as water on the brain and brain damage, probably occurring from reduced oxygen levels during the birth process.

Our little princess was intellectually handicapped, as well as physically. I hope it is obvious that our situation could be seen differently through a number of different “lenses” and some of them quite dark in character. I have to tell you that the “dark” lenses were never even considered. Tracy led what I felt was an extraordinary life, touching others and teaching me profound lessons that I might have missed without her.

By the time she reached the age of twenty, she had outlived her doctors’ expectations, had graduated from high school (special needs), and, as we learned a little later, had impacted the lives of a great number of people. This will give you some background regarding the experience I want to share.

Tracy’s physical issues were such that by the time her twentieth year approached, she was in need of a heart and lung transplant. She was not a good candidate for various reasons. During the previous five years we watched and labored as her condition deteriorated. As the day of her graceful exit from mortality neared, we found ourselves in the hospital dealing with congestive heart failure and other endemic conditions. Earlier in the week the doctors had said that if she was doing all right she could go home on Friday.

Everyone who came to visit her asked about going home. She was consistent in saying it would be Thursday. We corrected her each time and silence was her only reply. Now, at this juncture you need some additional information. Death, her death had been the subject of several conversations; the subject could hardly be avoided. We knew where she wanted to be buried and had other discussions of note that would be more appropriately revealed at another time. This additional piece of information you do need – we also referred to her passing as “going home” … going home to her Father In Heaven.

On Thursday of that week, Tracy’s condition worsened and it was obvious that her departure was near. The medical staff had put her on 100% oxygen, delivered through a mask that covered her mouth and nose. Besides the bed, there were two chairs in the room. I was sitting next to her with my wife at my side. The wall opposite the bed had a clock that chronicled the desperate passage of time. All was quiet except for the sound of oxygen flowing through the equipment and Tracy’s rapid breathing. Early in the afternoon she pulled off the mask. “Daddy,” she panted. “You’ve got to be so bored, being in the hospital.” Try to imagine my thoughts. Our daughter’s death was imminent and she was worried about the level of my boredom. I was stunned and tried to put her concerns to rest. Then she said, “Daddy, when Sybil came to visit, she told me not to be afraid, that Jesus is my friend and loves me.” Sybil is a family friend. Tracy never spoke again. That last comment was obviously very important to her and needed to be shared for the benefit of all three of us.  

A short time later, Tracy pulled off the mask. I instructed her to put it back on, but she just looked at me with eyes that seemed to be focused elsewhere. Finally, she closed her eyes and the mask was put back into place. Every now and again I would call her name and after several seconds she would finally look up, as if I had called her attention from something else. The second hand on the clock, lost in mechanical rhythm, plodded more vigorously until time stood still. Tracy had gone home on Thursday.

Thank you for letting me pull all this together. From the start, twenty years earlier, we could have looked at Tracy’s condition and the impact on our lives through the darkest and ugliest of life lenses, especially the one that seductively suggested we should be sorry for ourselves. Thankfully, that did not happen. Had it done so, we would have missed the most incredible life experiences. Even Tracy’s death was glorious, more majestic than I could have imagined. Our personal experience testifies that there is much that is right with the world, even in the most painful of situations.

I find it disturbing that negative feelings, dark perceptions of life can be a constant challenge. I suppose that we could try and list the reasons for this – habit, anger, pain, insecurity, depression - perhaps the list would seem endless. I hope you will keep endeavor to keep the “bright and revealing” life lens in front of you at all times as I am trying to do. If we do, there will be no end of Soulcookies for our delight.

Soulcookie: “Celebrate what’s right with the world” – Dewitt Jones

Recently, my wife asked me to screen a video with her from Dewitt Jones, a highly successful photographer who had worked with National Geographic Magazine for about 20 years. The title of the video is “Celebrate What’s Right with the World.” Mr. Jones put together a compelling invitation to find the “best and beautiful” in the world around us, no matter where we are. The theme so resonated with me that I decided producing some posts focused on his thought-provoking statements would be a valuable exercise for me. I hope it is for you as well.   

This is the first – “Celebrate what’s right with the world.” We live in a remarkable age. News and happenings are available to us almost within seconds of their occurrence, no matter where in the world they happened. Television, radio, printed publications, and Internet all fight for our attention or the news may track us down – waiting in our pockets or bags for the invitation to be seen. We can be kept as “current” as we choose.

Why is it that with so many options, with so many people around the globe participating in news gathering, dissemination, evaluation, and discussion that typically the bad, negative, or disgusting news travels faster and farther than the good variety? I hate to think that it is because we prefer the darker news. Are we more stimulated by the darker side? Oh, I hope not, but…. Whatever the reason, for many of us the investment to find and cultivate the positive, the good, is more difficult, or comes not so naturally. Herein is a paradox. I know that the soul rewards of what’s right with the world are stunning, fulfilling, and inspire happiness, real happiness … and yet, so often we focus on weakness instead of strength, flaws instead of talent, tragedy instead of blessing, the half empty glass … well, you get what I am saying.

I suppose that this is the reason we need to be reminded, perhaps frequently that the only substantive rewards are to be found in looking for what’s right in the world. Do you want a clear example of the pervasiveness of the negative, the magnetic appeal of what’s wrong with the world? Just look at the news broadcasting and motion picture industries. Judging from what is proffered on these entertainment plates few people spend time or money for that which invites elevation of thought and aspiration. There seems to be a minority interest in real sustenance instead of that which is negative or edgy.

 Doesn’t that seem strange to you? It does me. Things that are positive, that fill us with light, leave gifts that cannot be duplicated by the dark side. Why then aren’t we more collectively drawn to them? What a quandary. I have an assumption that I believe is universally true. We strengthen ourselves and gain new abilities much more readily under the pressure of personal bad news (let’s call them challenges) than we do under the good (we’ll call this the trouble-free way). What does your experience tell you? If that is so … do we get it, really get it? If we are adaptive souls, this should change how we view the world. We may not warmly invite difficult circumstances into our lives, but neither do we permit them to discolor our positive view of life. Things that have been hidden from us, including much of the world’s beauty will stay hidden until we refocus the lens of our internal camera. What’s right with the world can only be revealed in this way. It is up to us – the light of discovery awaits us.  

I want to share some additional thoughts through a very personal experience, but I will save that for the next post. In the mean time, here are two web addresses that you may find interesting. They are web sites devoted to good news only. Take a look and see what you think.

www.goodnewsnetwork.org

www.happynews.com

Their focus may resonate with you. To be continued.

Soulcookie: avoid “counterfeits” and “buy” into decisions and activities that have real power to fulfill your needs and dreams

 

I couldn’t help bringing this one up, not with all the attention that the Heene family in Fort Collins, CO has brought upon themselves with their alleged “balloon-boy” antics. Now, understand this – I’m not going to share any feelings I have about their innocence or guilt, well, at least not directly. What I do find intriguing after being one of the millions who followed what was going on with concern for the welfare of their son, is what was their true motivation for whatever took place and more importantly “why.”

Here’s a quick thumbnail sketch of what happened:

• Balloon takes flight 10/15/09
• Travels 50 miles across two counties
• It was thought that Falcon Neene, 6 years old, was on board
• Two National Guard Helicopters were dispatched to help
• Sheriff officers were assisting on the ground
• Flights at Denver International Airport were delayed for approximately 15 minutes
• Falcon was not on board, found later at his home.

Here’s a list of the alleged current findings and possible consequences:

• Media stunt to promote a proposed reality show
• May have been in the planning stages for weeks
• Children may have been active hoax participants
• Cost of helicopters is in excess of $14,000
• Parents may be facing felony and misdemeanor charges
• Parents may be facing child abuse charges

OK, with all of that as a preface, let me ask two questions.

1. What is it that the parents were trying to accomplish?
2. Would the answer to question #1 really provide what would be fulfilling for them; would it be a Soulcookie?

There is no way of knowing what truly motivates them and I don’t really care what the answer to question #1 is. (I know, you want to know why I would even ask Question 1 then. Well, it helps to center our thoughts and creates context for examining Question 2.) Looking at the outcome of the experience and the possible consequences facing them, including jail time and having the children taken out of their home – I wonder … I wonder if they would do it again like this.

All kinds of value judgments could be made by us from the outside looking in. Only Mr. and Mrs. Heene can answer for their motivation. But, I wonder, if this whole thing is a hoax, did it develop into a counterfeit for what would really satisfy their beings. Was the allure of public notice, stardom, popularity, or some other high profile reward so powerful for these two aspiring actors that it became a counterfeit itself? Did it propel them into a sensational scheme that has the possibility not only of outright failure, but a total backfire of expectations and loss of soul fulfillment?

All right, we need to make this personal, for each of us, in order for it to have more than sensational value.  We can’t surmise that others are seduced by counterfeits but not us, not me. Be honest, have you experienced this kind of thing in your life? Have you experienced soul-robbing counterfeits? If so, I hope it is on a much smaller scale. I’m going to go back in time, to early years in my marriage to share a personal counterfeit experience.

I worked for a silver-tongued entrepreneur in the real estate syndicating business who in my early career had me dreaming of things, expensive things and lots of them. I was a salesman and he wanted me motivated. A luxury car became my primary transportation, leased in my name by the Company. The payments were made by the Company with the provision that if my sales fell below a certain level month-to-month, I was on my own. That was a risk I didn’t mind taking. The prestige of driving that car and being seen in our social circle as “successful,” well, that was worth the risk.

I got a few months of pleasure out of the situation, but then the landscape began to change. I discovered that my employer was comingling funds. This is a no-no with investment monies. I also discovered that he seemed to be a pathological liar. He would tell an untruth and then it became the new truth. He could talk for hours and when you boiled everything down, there was nothing of substance left, only his charm and silver-tongue ability.

I couldn’t continue to live and work in that environment. Naivety kept me there for a few months trying to change things and then I left. I had been making a good income and now I had no income at all. Another job came along, but at a significantly lower pay scale. Guess what? I couldn’t afford the luxury chariot that sat in my driveway. You probably saw that coming. There was no getting out of the lease and I couldn’t find a buyer. Finally, I found a successful businessman who would pick up the lease if I continued to pay a portion until it expired. It was my only viable option – so I took it.

All of that is leading to the important stuff. I discovered that I really didn’t care about that vehicle or any other like it. Other than comfortable and reliable transportation, I didn’t need or care about the supposed status and prestige that this type of automobile had been known to have. I discovered I wasn’t fulfilled by the “I’ve made it” pretense and aura. The whole thing was a “counterfeit” to my real needs and desires. 

Understand, I wonder about the Heene’s in this regard. What about you? Have you experienced counterfeits in your life? Have you embraced them, but found them unsatisfying? If so, be brave and admit it to yourself. Then honestly open and walk through enough emotional doors to discover what is truly satisfying and set your heart and sights upon those things. Each one has the potential to be a Soulcookie, made by you, for you – without a doubt.

Soulcookie: the transforming balm of child delight

Last Saturday a small gathering of family, only four of us – grandma, grandpa (that’s me), son and granddaughter, Amber (5 years old), went to a local shopping/restaurant village for their annual “get Bewitched” event as part of the month’s Halloween festivities. The day was all that could be hoped for - a payday, with warm temperatures, clear skies, and activities guaranteed to put a smile on the most stone-like of faces.

Amber is the oldest of our three grandchildren and was the obvious focus of this adventure. There were thousands of people there, many of whom had dressed up in witch costumes to enjoy the full flavor and spirit of the season. Males were the decidedly minority gender, but that was unimportant. There were enough to help us feel that we belonged. You can’t imagine the variety of costumes and dressing-up that we witnessed on girls and women of all ages – all the way from “Broomhilda” to the most elegant of sorceresses. We saw caricatures conjuring, flying (a student driver crashed into a building), enticing, floating, hoola hooping, and just hanging around. The atmosphere was electric, excited, and weirdly comfortable.

Now the important part – I recognized some small changes taking place inside of me as they made their way to my consciousness. You know, like a smile that stealthily transforms your features before you notice your bad mood has disappeared. This isn’t to say that I was in a bad mood, because I was feeling good about being there, even excited to be with my granddaughter. However, I discovered that my good feelings were deepening and broadening, a wonderful sensation. The agents of change were the enchantment and joy that I saw on Amber’s face, heard in her tones of delight, and laughter. Who knew that spying out and counting sorceress caricatures could be so much fun or visiting a witch’s house for a grand tour and scary stories would have all the adults grinning from ear to ear as evidence of something more substantive taking place inside of us?

Have you had that kind of experience as an adult observer or participant? Do you remember how it made you feel? Now and again our hearts get a little hardened from the challenges of life – things we bring on ourselves, and those trying experiences that come so unexpectedly and perhaps undeservedly. Remember the old adage: “no good turn goes unpunished?” Do you know the stings of undeserved trouble? Have you been tempted to rage against the world or on a smaller scale take a poke at those around you? Have you felt like you were losing light, that shadows were beginning to color or take over your thoughts? 

Yes?! Well, I suppose that most of us have in one way or another. If we’ve recognized the dangers and possible consequences, then perhaps it’s not such a strange thought that there is real necessity to find ways to neutralize these toxins before we are are poisoned. I’ve found a sure-fire way for me to get me back – through the uncluttered and pristine joy of a child.

But, there are some rules, some steps. Number 1: you can’t just be there; it’s more than just showing up. Put away your cell phone, Ipod, Blackberry, or any other device, activity, or thought that diverts your attention and keeps your mind from focusing on the “therapy child.”

Number 2: once you’ve prepared yourself to receive – stop thinking about Step #1 and move on to Number 3.

Number 3: now your job is to lose yourself in bringing delight to the child, all the while drinking in the laughs, love, and joyous looks. When it’s all over you’ll be amazed at how cleansed and invigorated you’ll feel; how much light is in your life, and how thankful you are to be to be alive! 

There is no need to wonder whether or not this is worth it. The elixir is available each and every day if we’re wise enough to drink deeply from the fountain that supplies it.

All right men, women are way ahead of us in this. Don’t even begin to think that this isn’t manly. This Soulcookie works for both genders.

Welcome! Hello! Hi! It’s good to have you here. What kind of greeting is appropriate for launching a blog? I feel like I’m christening a ship or singing the national anthem at a football game – just enough butterflies and stomach churning to let me know I’m venturing into personally unchartered waters. (Just be glad that I’m not singing – well, that’s probably all you need to know about that.)

I won’t spend any significant time in this post explaining who I am and “why” this blog. You can get much of that information from the “About” and “Author” pages. My reasons are numerous and some are tentative outreaches of creative energy giving way to exploration, a desire for additional interpersonal connections, and the idea that this will be fun.

A definition of “soulcookies” is probably in order. Breaking the word in two is advantageous. “Soul:” a person’s total self, including that which is spiritual and eternal. “Cookie:” a little cake served as dessert. I find great delight in cookies. (If you read the “Author” page then you understand the relevancy of “cookie” being in the blog name.) Therefore, a “soulcookie” is a treat that brings satisfaction to the soul. The intriguing part of this metaphor is that real food, more specifically dessert, may not be a soulcookie for many people. As much as I love dessert and have numerous stories that could be shared regarding that fact, not it or any food brings me the kind of happiness that a soulcookie does.

You might be saying to yourself, “How do I know what a soulcookie is for me?” I’m certain there are some variations from person to person, but here is a sampling from a larger list of those identified by me for me:

• Service
• Music that inspires
• Time with family and friends
• Prayer
• Meeting challenges
• Witnessing joy in others
• Teaching
• Acts of love

Now, for you – answer this question in as many ways as you can, “What gives me real, lasting happiness?” We’re not talking about pleasure or fun per se. True happiness fills you in a way that pleasure cannot. You might even find yourself in a private moment of introspection and appreciation shedding a tear or two – tears of joy. Your reply might be, “Oh, that kind of happiness!” Yes, that’s what we’re talking about.

Is this enough to get you started? I hope so. Let’s compare notes as we go along.